What if
by lulubell2352
Summary: What if in episode 12 of season 2 Megan never interrupted Rayna and Deacon while they were writing? Just a one shot i had in my head.
1. Chapter 1

One Shot Fan Fiction

This story is a new ending to the scene between Rayna and Deacon in season 2 episode 12, Just for What I Am. What would have happened if Megan never came home?

I sat out in my car for at least 30 minutes convincing myself this was a good idea. We've always been friends and writing partners before anything else. I need a single for this album. I need this album to succeed. I've bet everything on this album, and every part of me knows that he is what is missing. He is what is going to complete this album. It isn't a lie when I tell interviewers, fans, really anyone that asks, there would be no Rayna Jaymes without Deacon Claybourne. For better or for worse we write beautiful music together. And with that final thought I've convinced myself to get out of my car. I grab my purse and notepad and head to the front door.

I knock on the door and hear him yell come in so I push the door open. I feel weird just letting myself into this house. This house is truly his because we never lived here together. I never decorated this house with little hints of each of us and I never got to share that bed with him more then a handful of times. Of course I've been over here more times then I care to admit but I always felt like this house was his space he created without me.

"Deacon, Hello?"

"Hey Ray! I'm just cleanin up the kitchen. Make yourself at home."

"Ok."

I set my note pad down on the coffee table and looked at his couch. The very couch not too long ago I sat in only his flannel cuddled up next to him singing one of our favorite songs. I was so happy in that moment, happier then I'd been in years, until he brought up wanting a family of our own. Then the guilt came back and the realization of everything that happened. I snap out of it and took a seat and pulled out my phone to go through emails.

"Sorry about that Ray I made breakfast and didn't want to leave everything just sitting around."

He grabs his guitar from the corner and sits on the other end of the couch.

"Don't worry about it. You ready to write a hit?"

He chuckles a little and that beautiful grin comes out. God that grin got me to do things I never even imagined.

"If our track record is any indication I think we got a shot."

"Good because I have literally bet my house on this album and I think all it needs is a little Deacon Claybourne magic."

He laughs and rubs his facial hair. "Deacon Claybourne magic...I think I like the sound of that."

I laugh a little and run my fingers through the front part of my hair. I pull the demo out of my purse and give it to him.

"I am very proud of this album. I've worked very hard on it and I think it speaks to everything I've been through this past year. When you get a chance I want you to listen to it and give me your honest opinion. You know me better than anyone and your opinion matters more to me than anyone else. With that being said I think the single we write needs to be a little bit more of an upbeat flirty tempo to really capture my fans attention."

He grabs the album from my hands and briefly touches my fingers. It sends a jolt of electricity through me and I hold my breath hoping he doesn't notice.

"I'm sure its amazing Ray. Anything you do is amazing." he sets the demo down on the table. "So should we get started?"

"Yeah!"

We'd been writing and playing around with different melodies for about 2 hours when I heard his stomach growl.

"Of course you're hungry"

"Hey now we've been at this for a few hours can't blame a guy for workin up an appetite."

I laugh a little and pull out my phone.

"Pizza?"

"Mhmmm pizza sounds good Ray."

I order pepperoni with sausage pizza, his favorite, and it shows up about 20 minutes later. I push the coffee table forward and sit on the floor and he joins me.

"Mhnmmm this is more I like it." Is all he can manage to get out as grease from his pizza runs down his chin.

I can't help but laugh at how adorable he looks at that exact moment.

I hand him a napkin as I say "I don't know how you think you're going to play guitar with those greasy fingers."

He wipes his mouth with the napkin and says,

"Look if I can play a guitar solo while I eat a triple decker cheese burger"

"Oh the famous triple decker cheese burger that inspired Here I Go Again."

"You're damn right! Which by the way we wrote right here on this floor."

I keep my head down and continue scribbling lyrics to keep my eyes off of him.

"Yes we did."

"Like so many others."

"mhmmmm" was all I could manage to say as all of our old writing memories came flooding back.

"Baby I Don't Mind, I Shouldn't Love You, Take A Walk"

I keep writing as he talks but then it occurs to me.

"We didn't write I Shouldn't Love You on this floor."

"Yeah we did."

I look up at him with this trust me I know we didn't write it on this floor look

"No we didn't!"

Still chewing on his damn pizza slice he chuckles and says,

"Rayna we did."

I pull my gaze from him and look up at the ceiling rolling my eyes "No we didn't."

"Ok. Fine. Where'd we write it?"

I just look at him and give him a second to think about what he just asked me. Pursing my lips together with a hint of annoyance.

"Oh."

I throw my pen at him and change the subject.

"You know that riff you were playing earlier? Try that lyric to it"

He sits back on the couch grabs his guitar and says, "Ok."

I can't help but look back up at him with this knowing wanting gaze.

I Shouldn't Love You is by far one of our more personal and emotional songs that just blew up. Writing that song hurt more than any of the others because at that time we weren't together. Everything that went down between us was so raw and fresh that the lyrics were so powerful and real. They were our truest emotions and feelings at that point in our relationship and they turned into a beautiful song. And if I'm honest with myself it is still to this day the hardest song to sing all the way through without breaking down. And what happened after we finished writing it is just another chapter of the constant magnetic pull we have towards each other that took years to figure out how to control.

It was maybe an hour later and we had everything written down on paper.

"Alright you ready to run it through?"

"Yeah."

"Well you know how it goes when you meet somebody that you like somebody wanna hold somebody. But just can't stand to think about somebody as another somebody becoming someone else. When it all goes to hell. Why can't we keep it on the sweet side? See how it feels to take a slow ride. This time. Wouldn't it be nice just to find somebody. That you like somebody wanna hold somebody and you didn't have to worry about losing somebody cause you pushed somebody a little too hard to fast. I could use some of that. I wanna get back on the sweet side. I wanna get back on that slow ride. Want every kiss to give me butterflies. See that old baby come here look in your eyes. This time. This time.

We both laugh.

"Wow uh… that felt like yesterday."

I chuckle. "Yeah."

I lean in a little closer not knowing it.

How does every song that I don't even mean to be about him some how correlate back to him? How do all the feelings I think I buried come rushing back to the surface when he gives me that look?

He coughs and moves his guitar away from him and says, "It's a good song Ray." Avoiding all eye contact with me.

"It's a great song, Thank you for writing it with me." I place my hand on his leg as a thank you and he freezes. I can feel his leg tense up under my fingers and I immediately pull my hand back.

"Uh I'll help you clean all of this up then I'll get out of your hair. I have to get ready for that party tonight anyways."

I get off the couch and start putting all of our trash into the pizza box and head to the kitchen. He still has yet to move or even say one word.

I'm at the sink turning on the faucet to wash my hands. Then I can suddenly sense him. He's right behind me, his body barely brushing up against mine. I can feel his warm slow breathe but I hear his heart beating at a much faster rate. His body's reactions are causing my body to react just as intensely. I turn the water off and reach for the towel to my right to dry off my hands. I turn around and there he is standing in front of me with that look in his eye. That look I've seen so many times before. He's fighting everything inside of him to not have his way with me right here in this kitchen. Without thinking I place my right hand on the left cheek and move my fingers ever so softly. He closes his eyes and without hesitation I move closer and place my lips gently on his. Our kiss is slow and filled with longing but then he turns us and pushes my body up against the island. My hands now in his hair pulling him as close to me as possible. I feel his hand pulling my waist up against his pelvis. He's already so hard and ready for me. God I've missed him.

I wake up not recognizing where I am but then I feel an arm around my waist and it all comes back like a dream. Starting with him lifting me on top of the island, me unbuttoning his flannel wanting his skin on mine. Him carrying me with ease into his bedroom, his lips all over every inch of my body, I blush as I run my fingers over my swollen lips. I look over to the clock on the nightstand. Shit I only have two hours before I have to be at that party. I lift Deacon's arm and sneak my way out of his bed. I gather all of my clothes and head to the bathroom to make myself presentable. I look in the mirror and laugh because my hair is a hot mess. He always manages to mess my hair up without a second thought. I manage to make myself look some what presentable and head back into the bedroom. He's stretched his body out across the entire bed in the 10 minutes I'd been in the bathroom. I grab a blanket we managed to through off at some point and lay it on top of him and push his hair out of his eyes. I know I need to and go Buck is going to kill me if I am late to this party. I decide to leave a note and leave his house as quietly as I can.

Getting ready for this party was a total blur all I can think about was my day with Deacon. We wrote an unbelievable song that is really going to complete this album. All day long all our old memories kept coming back up. What happened after we finished the song. The whole day from waking up with anxiety about writing with him again to this very moment is just being played over and over again in my head.

What did it all mean?

What about Luke, Megan?

Was this just a one time thing?

Did he regret it? Did I?

Suddenly I hear my name.

"Rayna! Rayna, I've been talking to you for 10 minutes. Have you heard anything I just said?"

"I'm so sorry Buck. My head is just in so many different places."

"Rayna I need you to focus. This party is a good opportunity to spread the word about Highway 65. Scarlett is also going to be there and you need to introduce her to people and getting people excited about her music."

"I know I know Buck I'm sorry. I just need a minute."

He walks out of my room followed by my hair and make up people and I do my best to push all of my thoughts about today out of my head. Buck was right I had to focus, and put my Queen of Country face on.

We arrive and the party is in full swing. People instantly gravitate towards me and I do my best to hide everything with a smile. I see Luke out of the corner of my eye motioning me to meet him. I nod because best not to make a scene.

"Well darling you look absolutely beautiful."

He goes in for a kiss but I dodge him.

"Is something wrong Rayna?"

I shake my head and take his hands.

"No, no nothings wrong I just have a lot of lipstick on and don't want to get it on you."

"Well Ray I don't care." and he comes at me again. It instantly agitates me that he called me Ray. No one calls me Ray except for Deacon.

"Well I do. We aren't a public couple yet and there are cameras everywhere. I would prefer to keep it that way for now. And Luke please don't call me that."

He lets go of my hands and gives me a look of anger.

"Look Rayna I'm ready to go public with this thing. I like you, and I know you like me screw the cameras. I don't care. How about you call me when you are ready!"

He walks away and I know tonight is going to be a long one.

I head back to the party and my heart instantly drops to the floor. There he is, at the entrance looking handsome as ever. What was he doing here? I don't remember him mentioning coming tonight.

I head to the bar before he even notices me. I'm on my third glass of champagne when Scarlett comes up behind me.

"Rayna!"

"Scarlett! You look absolutely beautiful!"

She blushes a little

"Thank you. I'm exhausted but Bucky said I need to make an appearance so here I am. I dragged Uncle Deacon along with me but I don't know where he's disappeared to."

"Oh I'm sure I'll see him eventually, it's a small party." I try to hide the terrified feeling that came along with that sentence. There are so many unanswered questions that I am not entirely in the mood to get the answers to tonight.

"Let's go introduce you to some people."

I leave Scarlett to talk and stand on her own. The girl is so much like her uncle in hating these kinds of thing but it's a necessary part of the job. Unlike Deacon she doesn't have someone like me to do it all for her.

I head straight to the bar. I go for the whiskey, champagne just ain't cutting it anymore.

Bucky comes up to me.

"Hey Rayna, you ready to go on stage?"

"What!?"

"Did you forget you are performing tonight with Luke?"

"Bucky I can not perform tonight. I've drank so much whiskey no way I remember the lyrics. You have to get me out of it. Please Buck."

"I'll see what I can do Rayna but you're the one that is going to have to deal with Luke."

Before he leaves I grab his arm and pull him closer to me so I can whisper to him.

"Have you seen Deacon?"

"I saw him going to the back."

"Ok thanks."

I decide since I have a little liquid courage I would go try and find him.

I do my best to compose myself but I definitely can't handle whiskey the way I use to. I hear a guitars light strumming and I follow the sound knowing he would be the only one to leave a party to be alone.

His back is facing me so I walk up and sit opposite of him.

"Hey Ray."

"Hi Deacon. You enjoying the party?" with a chuckle

"Now I am." with his seductive grin.

I chuckle a little. "Why'd you really come tonight Deacon?"

He drops his head down and takes off his guitar. He rubs his face with his hands. He then takes my hands and looks directly into my eyes.

"I came for you Ray. You are the love my life and you always have been. Today, writing that song I realized our lives are completely connected. The music we make apart is great, your album is going to be one of your best. But when we collaborate and make it together it's unbelievably beautiful. and that is the perfect definition of our relationship. Apart we are ordinary but together we are extraordinary. We can do this Ray. It's Maddie, and Daphne, and you and me."

I kiss him with tears running down my face.

"I love you too." and kiss him again.


	2. Chapter 2: Luke and Rayna

Ok so I know I said this would be a one shot story but I decided to extend it to 3 more chapter. Some of you that took the time to actually read this story (thank you by the way) wanted to know what Rayna would have said to Luke. This chapter is what I think their conversation would have been like. Enjoy!

You're Just Not Deacon.

I slowly pull my lips from his reluctantly.

"Babe as much as I would love to stay here with you, I have to get back out there."

"Mhmmmm can't we just leave? You've been here long enough, you've talked to all the people you needed to. Come on Ray lets get out of here…together."

He pulls me into another intoxicatingly intense kiss. His hands are all in my hair and he playfully bits my lower lip. I pull back trying to create space between us.

"Deaconnnn…"

"What's stopping you? The girls are with Teddy, we could go back to your place or mine and never leave the bed. Leave with me Ray…Please?"

I place my hands in his and as much as I want to leave with him I shake my head and say,

"Deacon that sounds perfect and I want nothing more in this world then to walk out of here, your hand in mine, and never look back. But I have to get back to this party. I'm suppose to perform with Luke tonight and I have no idea if Bucky was able to get me out of it. Plus you need to talk to Megan and I need to have a conversation with Luke."

He pulls me back towards him and kisses me gently, then places his forehead on mine.

"You're right. Ok, you go out first and I'll be out behind you in a few minutes."

I squeeze his hands, stand up, and run my fingers through my hair trying to fix the parts he messed up.

"Ok."

I walk out of the back room and join Bucky and Scarlett.

"Hey y'all."

"Hey Rayna, I talked to Luke's manager and Luke is insisting on talking to you. He seemed really upset about you saying you didn't want to perform tonight. Maybe if you go and talk to him, tell him you're sick or something he'll let it go."

I roll my eyes at Luke's petty attitude.

"Thank you Buck I really appreciate it. I guess I'll go see if I can find him. Scarlett don't leave without saying goodbye ok?"

"Ok, I won't. Have you seen Uncle Deacon around? I swear he just disappeared right when we got here."

"No idea sweetheart but I'm sure he's around here somewhere."

I walk towards the stage and see Luke talking to his manager. I place my hand on his shoulder,

"Hey, sorry to interrupt but Luke can I talk to you a quick sec?"

"Yeah."

His manager excuses himself and leaves us to talk.

"So, what's going on? Bucky said you seemed pretty upset about me not wanting to perform tonight, is it really that big of an issue or is something else bothering you?"

"I don't know Rayna you tell me."

"Excuse me!"

"I get that we had a little disagreement but to avoid me all night, and then to send your manager over to say you didn't want to sing our song, you tell me what's going on!"

I'm trying be as calm as possible because people are starting to look our direction, so I plaster on my best fake smile.

"Look Luke I don't want to have a conversation about our relationship with all of these people within ear shot of us. And in terms of avoiding you all night? I wasn't aware I was. I had people I needed to network with, and people I needed Scarlett to meet. As for wanting to perform, I don't feel very well and getting up on stage is the last thing I want to do right now. Plus they've been playing the song on repeat all afternoon I doubt anyone wants to hear us perform it."

"Fine we won't do the song then."

He walks away and I am left a little stunned. I don't understand why he is being so hostile towards me right now.

I walk to the bar and ask the bartender for another glass of whiskey.

"Don't you think you should slow down a little Ray?"

He comes from behind me and stands opposite of me. I smile at his remark.

"Maybe. Have you found Scarlett she was looking for you."

"Yeah here she comes up behind you."

I turn around position myself beside Deacon and Scarlett stands in front of us.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Hey Rayna, Uncle Deacon where have you been? I've been looking every where for you?"

"I've been around."

He nudges me and to hide my blushing I take a sip of my drink.

"Ok…Well I'm ready to go. Are you?"

"Yeah sure thing. Why don't you go get the keys from the valet and I'll meet you outside."

"Alright. Rayna it was good to see you."

I give her a hug goodbye.

"Thank you for coming tonight Scarlett. Let's get together sometime this week and talk. Have a goodnight."

"Ok. Just tell Bucky to call me. Goodnight Rayna."

I step forward and turn to face Deacon.

"Goodnight Deacon."

He takes a step towards me and I give him my what are you doing look and look over my shoulder to see If anyone is watching us.

"I'm just going to give you a hug Ray. No harm in two friends saying goodbye to one another…is there?"

I smile and relax. He's right.

He comes forward and gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, "Goodnight Ray."

I hold on to him a little longer then I should have but he pulls away and walks out of the building.

I decide to leave the party not too long after Deacon and Scarlett. Since I wasn't performing anymore there was no reason for me to stay the whole night. I found Buck and Luke on my way out and said a quick goodbye to each of them. I could tell Luke was still annoyed with me but I didn't push it. Tomorrow was going to be a long exhausting day and all could think about was getting home to my bed and going straight to sleep.

I wake up to the smell of pancakes. What the hell…who is making pancakes in my kitchen? The girls aren't home, is Tandy here? I put on my robe and head downstairs.

"Hello? Tandy?"

I look in the kitchen and panic instantly.

"Mornin sugar. You're even more beautiful without all that sparkle. I made you pancakes."

He hands me a plate and kisses me before I have time to react.

"Good morning. Uhhh how did you get in?"

"Buck gave me his key last night after you left. I told him I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in the morning. Come join me at the table."

I walk to my kitchen table stunned. What was he doing here? It's not like we ended the night on a good note, why would he think it would be ok for him to just let himself into my house?

I sit and enjoy my breakfast quietly.

"Is everythin ok darling? You haven't said much this mornin?"

I cough as my food goes down the wrong pipe.

"Uh yeah I'm fine I just got scared. I wasn't expecting anyone to be in my house this early in the morning."

Luke wipes his mouth with a napkin and leans back in his seat.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I wanted to surprise you with a little breakfast. I didn't much like how our conversation ended last night so I thought breakfast would be a good start to fixing it."

I smile and take a sip of coffee.

"Well that was very nice of you. Thank you."

I go back to finishing my breakfast without saying anything else.

I get up from the table taking my plate with me.

"You done?"

I ask as I grab his plate as well taking them to the sink. I begin to wash them and all of the other dirty dishes he left lying around in my kitchen. I finish and grab a towel out of the drawer to dry my hands.

"Thank you again for the breakfast. The pancakes were good, and so was the coffee. I'm going to go up to take a shower and get ready. I have some errands I need to run and I need to go and talk to Bucky about a few things but I'll see you later?"

I walk closer to the door to show him out but instead he walks towards me, spins me around and pushes me up against the counter. Déjà vu hits me and I suddenly see flashes of Deacon doing the exact same thing to me not 24 hours ago.

"Well I could go and you could see me later…or I could join you in that shower."

He looks at me and I can see the lust in his eyes. I push him off of me and get some distance between us.

"I don't think that is a good idea Luke. I appreciate you coming here and making me breakfast but I think we both need to take a little time and think about this thing between us."

"What's going on Rayna?"

I fasten my robe around me and fold my arms over my chest.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is ever since yesterday you've been acting weird around me, pushing me away. I try to kiss you and you avoid it. Now you want to think about this thing between us? What does that even mean?"

"I uh…I can't do this right now. I really need to go and get ready. I promise we will talk later."

"No Ray, I want to talk now. Whatever it is you have to do today can wait until we have a conversation."

"I told you yesterday, do not call me that."

He throws his hands in the air and scoffs

"Are you kidding me right now. After everything I just said that's what you focus in on… the fact that I called you Ray? Seriously?"

I really didn't want to talk to him about this right now. I didn't even know what to say. How do I explain something to someone that I don't even fully understand myself. My feelings when it comes to Deacon are confusing and complicated but was that even something Luke needed to hear? Should I just omit all of yesterday and tell him I can't give him the relationship he wants. That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. All I knew for sure was that I wanted to do this in a way that didn't hurt him. But the longer I stand here looking at the concerned expression on his face no matter what I say I am going to end up hurting him.

"Rayna please just talk to me. All I'm asking is for you to use your words and to be honest with me. I know we had a disagreement at the party last night about going public but if you want to wait that's fine. I'll wait until you're ready. I'll enjoy having you all to myself for a little while, and then when you want me to I'll show you off to the world."

He's walked closer to me and is now holding me by my waist. I look down to avoid looking into his eyes, but he grabs my chin and tilts my head up.

"I've had a crush on you for the longest time Rayna Jaymes and now that I got you I don't want to lose you. We'll do all of this your way and in your own time."

I push him away from me gently and look down trying to compose what I want to say, what I need to say.

"Luke…I can't."

"What do you mean you can't. Rayna will you please look at me."

I pull my head up and breath out heavily.

"Luke, I can't do to you what I did to Teddy. You deserve so much more than what I can give you."

His eyes start to water and he turns away from me. He wipes his face and looks back at me.

"I'm not Teddy, I am nothing like Teddy. Our relationship is nothing like what you had with your ex-husband. I love you Rayna. Don't end this before we even have a chance to really start. We have a good thing going here. I can make you so happy Rayna, you just have to let me. You have to stop pushing me away."

I have tears running down my face and I just shake my head.

"I'm such an idiot."

I'm wiping the tears from my face and place my hands on the countertop.

"You're not an idiot Luke."

"But I'm not Deacon either... am I? Rayna, look me in the eye and tell me you aren't throwing what we could have away for him."

I can see his sadness turn to anger.

"I am so sorry Luke. I care about you, I really do. I could keep trying to make this thing we have between us work and I could be happy and eventually fall in love with you. But you and I both know deep down it would all be a lie. You're an amazing guy Luke, and you are going to make someone immensely happy one day. Make her breakfast, put a giant ring on her finger, and parade her around Nashville with this proud look on your face because you can't believe she ever looked your direction in the first place…but that girl just isn't me. I gave my heart away a long time ago. It has always been him, I don't want it to be him, I've spent so many years wishing it wasn't him. I walked into The Bluebird and heard him play one note on that stupid guitar and he had me. He's everything for me, and I truly am sorry I put you through all of this in the first place, but I was scared. Scared of how he makes me feel, scared that all of his old demons will come back, but despite all the hell we've put each other through I still love him. "

He looks at me with this rage that turns into disappointment.

"Love isn't suppose to scare you, or cause you so much pain that you run away. You deserve someone that doesn't cause you that pain in the first place. You deserve someone that is going to be there for you no matter what life throws at you. I was there in the beginning when he would abandon you at a gig because he was too drunk to get out of bed. I was also there this past year when you showed up at my ranch broken all over again because yet again he let you down. Hell Rayna you almost died. It's who he is, and he's going to do it to you again."

He grabs his keys from the counter and heads towards the back door. But before he leaves he turns back towards me.

"And I'm not going to be there for you when he does it to you this time. I'm done."

I stand in the kitchen with tears pouring down my face. Deacon has caused me so much pain, but I have caused him just as much. I am not an innocent bystander to how toxic our relationship became. And if I am being honest I would have stayed with him through his fifth stint in rehab if I hadn't been pregnant with Maddie. She was my excuse to run and hide from everything he made me feel. I ran further away from all of those feelings when Teddy offered me a way out by marrying him and raising Maddie as his own. And Luke was just another excuse, because I didn't want to feel the pain that comes with loving him. We are inextricably tied; we always have been and we always will be. It is time for me to stop hiding and running from the inevitable.


	3. Chapter 3: Deacon and Megan

Thank y'all so much for reading this story! I have really enjoyed writing exploring another direction Rayna and Deacon's relationship could have gone. This chapter is the conversation Deacon has with Megan. I hope y'all enjoy!

She's Everything.

The drive home from the party was quiet. Something was obviously bothering Scarlett, but I figured I would leave it alone tonight. I could tell she wasn't ready to talk about it and if I was being honest I had a lot on my mind too. Everything changed today. I woke up and made breakfast for Megan feeling excited about the future I could see us having together. Now here I am thinking about how I am going to end things with her tomorrow. It was like I was on auto pilot the whole drive home because before I even realized it we were in the drive way. We go inside and Scarlett walks straight to her room yelling night behind her. I am so zoned out I don't even register what she said before she shut the door to her room.

There was no way I would be able to go to sleep anytime soon so I change and decide to strum my guitar. I sat on my couch and played some of our old songs. I started with Postcard from Mexico. As I played the melody I thought about our first day on that vacation. Ray wore this tiny white bikini that made her legs appear to go on for miles. Mhmmmm that bikini, God that woman taunted the life out of me that day. We laid on the beach for hours and all I could think about was taking her back to our room. She however played coy all day long. She slowly rubbed sunscreen over every inch of her body she could reach, then looked my way and said,

"Babe, can you help me?" and she slowly untied her top and laid down on her stomach. And that moment was the inspiration for our song. It was the first song we wrote that wasn't about us pouring out our love for one another. It was more about our attraction and flirtatious affection we only showed towards each other when we were alone.

I played all the way through our history and decided to end with No One Will Ever Love You. I thought about us performing it at The Bluebird not too long ago. I didn't see her come in, but when I finished my song and looked into the audience I saw her cheering me on in the back. She had this look of pride that I hadn't seen her show towards me in years. I had no idea she would show up that night, especially after our fight about Juliette earlier that day. I hate raising my voice at her but she knows exactly what to say to push my buttons. In all fairness I know how to do the same to her; which is probably why our fights always ended up being so volatile. Ray hadn't been to The Bluebird in years, and we hadn't performed on this stage since back when we were still together. But when I saw her, I wanted her up on stage with me. It was where we belonged. This stage was where everything started. Every inch of this building held a memory of us. So without hesitating I invited her to join me.

I gave her a kiss on the check and hugged her briefly. We sat down with the audience still applauding us and I whispered No One Will Ever Love You in her ear. When she shook her head yes, I then turned to the band and we launched into the song. It only took two verses and it was as if it were 20 years ago and we were the only two people in the room. That was the night things changed between us and we both knew it. We crossed that line that we drew when she married Teddy. Performing that song opened up all of those old feelings and I knew she was feeling the same thing. I could see the fear all over her face when we finished that song and that was why I grabbed her hand.

When I finished I grabbed my phone from the side table and decided to text Rayna. I wanted to keep it simple so I just wrote I Love You Ray and hoped that in the morning when she saw it, it would makes her smile. I set my phone back down and grabbed my notepad from the table. This one verse had been on a loop in my head after talking to Ray at the party and now I wanted to see what I could turn it into.

It was just after 2 in the morning when I decided to turn in. I had finished the song and I needed to force myself to get some sleep. But I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling and just couldn't shut my brain off. I knew I had to end things with Megan but I had no idea what I was going to tell her. Ending our relationship wasn't something I planned to do any time soon. I found myself actually feeling happy with her. She is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. She's smart, she has such a pure and giving heart. Sure she's a workaholic but she loves her career and that was something we have in common. She helped me after the accident. I had never felt so betrayed when I found out about Maddie. I was so angry at Rayna for lying to me for thirteen years. It destroyed me, and when I almost killed Rayna I felt like I deserved to die. But Megan saved me. She fought for me. She pulled me out of the darkness I had buried myself in. After she proved I was innocent in the accident, she helped me to start a relationship with Maddie. She even helped me to start forgiving Rayna. After everything she has done for me, I'm going to break up with her? She didn't deserve what I was about to do to her and the guilt was eating away at me.

I fell asleep and woke up around 8. I took a shower and decided to call Megan.

"Hey."

"Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't come over last night I was at the office working on this case and it got so late I didn't want to wake you."

"Don't worry about it, Scarlett dragged me to that Edgehill party last night."

"Well that sounds like fun."

"Definitely not."

"Haha well what do you have planned for today?"

"Actually that is why I am calling. I need to talk to you about something and was wondering if you were free tonight for dinner?"

"Sure babe but can we have an early dinner? I have so much work I need to do on this case."

"Yeah, that's fine. Does 6 work?"

"6 is good. I'll see you later."

"Bye Megan."

The day drags on but it is finally 5:30 and I hear my doorbell ring.

I open the door, and there is Megan standing still in her work clothes, carrying her brief case and a bag.

"Hi!"

She comes in and kisses me.

"I'm sorry to surprise you like this. I know you text me earlier and we agreed to meet at the restaurant but I have so much work to do. So I thought we could just stay here and I picked up some burgers for dinner because no way was I going to eat SpaghettiOs. "

She pulls the to go bag up to show me and gives me this sympathetic look because she notices I am wearing something other than a flannel.

"Oh, you got all dressed up! I'm so sorry Deacon. You know what forget the burgers lets go."

She sets the bag down on the coffee table and grabs my hand pulling me towards the door. I resist and turn her around.

"No, burgers here is fine. You have work to do I understand. But if we are staying here I am going to go and change. And SpaghettiOs are a perfectly acceptable dinner."

I let go of her and turn to head into my bedroom.

I come back and she has papers everywhere.

"I'm gone for five minutes and you've already pulled all of that stuff out?"

I grab my food from the bag and sit on the couch.

She chuckles and wipes her face.

"Yes, I have so much to do before trial next week."

"Ahh so it's a pretty big case then."

She continues to write and just shakes her head.

I lean back into the couch and enjoy my food. No way we have a conversation about our relationship tonight. She's busy and didn't see the point in forcing the issue.

I guess the lack of sleep hit me because I wake up to someone kissing my neck. At first I think its Ray and I moan and lean into it. But when I open my eyes I see brown hair falling over my shoulder and I jolt up off of the couch. This causes Megan to fall forward on the couch.

"Deacon, what the hell!"

She pushes off the back of the couch and stands up crossing her arms.

I run my hands over my face and through my hair.

"I'm sorry. You surprised me."

She huffs

"I surprised you? You've never run away from me like that."

"I just wasn't expected it. I didn't get any sleep last night and I'm just in mood."

She starts walking towards me closing the distance between us and I tense up a little.

"Look I'm sorry I ruined your dinner plans for us, but Deacon I had to work. There was no getting out of it but I wanted to see you so I thought this was a good compromise."

"It's fine, I get it. I know how demanding your job can be sometimes but I told you on the phone I needed to talk to you about something. If you couldn't make dinner you should have just called and canceled."

She looks at me with this shocked expression.

"Wow, so you would have rather I canceled?"

I put my hands in my pockets and shake my head.

"Yes. Especially since this wasn't even a date. You worked the whole time and I fell asleep."

I can see her shocked expression turn into sadness.

"Well I thought spending some time together was better than none. Good to know I'm the only one in this relationship that feels that way."

I walk towards her.

"That's not what I meant. This evening just didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I think it would be best if you left and called me tomorrow when you have time to talk."

"No, I'm here now so why don't we just talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk about."

I turn around and let out a big breath slowly turning back around to face her.

"I don't think it's a good idea to have this conversation right now. I know I'm tired, and I can tell from your face that you are exhausted. We can talk tomorrow when both of us have gotten some sleep and can have a real conversation."

She wipes her eyes and looks at me.

"You're right, I'm exhausted."

She looks down as if scared to look at me.

"Is it ok if I stay? Its late and a long drive back to my place."

"Yeah you can stay in my room, I'll stay out here on the couch."

Guilt instantly washes over me as soon as the words flow out of my mouth but what else was I suppose to do? I couldn't let her drive home this late.

"You don't have to sleep out here. We can both sleep in the bed, it's just a little fight."

"No, it's ok I don't mind, you take my room. I would feel more comfortable out here."

"Ok. Well then goodnight Deacon. I'll see you in the morning."

She pushes past me and goes to my room and closes the door. I am left standing in a pile of her papers and so many emotions clouding my head.

I hear the shower start and decide to get up and make her coffee. Megan doesn't function without coffee. I am sitting in the kitchen sipping on a cup of coffee reading the paper when I hear her say,

"Morning."

I turn to look her direction.

"Morning. I made coffee. I figured you wouldn't have time for breakfast."

She walks over and pours herself a cup.

"Thank you, that was sweet of you. How was the couch?"

I chuckle.

"It wasn't that bad, my back hurts a little but it's an old couch."

She comes up behind me and starts giving me a massage and whispers into my ear.

"You could have just joined me in your bed."

I flinch and get up from the table pushing past her.

"You should probably leave soon if you want to get to work on time."

She runs her right hand through her hair and places her left on her hip.

"I called in this morning. I don't have to be in til 2. I have a client coming in for a meeting."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So I figures we could talk. I let work take over last night which wasn't fair to you."

"It's ok Megan, your job is important to you and I respect that."

She blushes.

"Thank you, that means a lot but I don't want it to ruin what we have going on between us."

I look down for a few minutes and build the courage to look up and be honest with her. It is the least I could do, she deserved that much from me.

"Your job isn't the problem."

She look at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Megan, I don't even know how to say this."

"Say what Deacon?"

"I um I have to end this. I'm sorry Megan I…"

"You're ending this? You mean you're ending us?"

"I didn't mean to do this. I didn't wanna hurt you."

"This doesn't make any sense. Did you, ummm did something happen with you and Rayna yesterday?"

I just look at her because I couldn't say yes. I couldn't say anything. The pain in her eyes was almost unbearable. Tears were starting to fall down her face and she was trying so hard to make them stop.

"Megan please believe me when I tell you how sorry I am. You helped me when I was in one of the worst points in my life and for that I will always be grateful to you."

"You can't be serious. You were starting to actually make a life for yourself. You are working on a solo album, making your own music, we were building something together. We could have had something. And she sees you happy and just pulls you back."

"We did have something. And its not like that."

"That's exactly what it's like!"

"Megan anything I say after this moment is only going to hurt you, and the least I can do is spare you as much pain as possible."

The tears have stopped and she looks at me with determination and anger.

"No I want to know. At the very least you owe me that! I want you to be honest with me. So obviously something happened with you and her yesterday. I'm sure I can use my imagination and connect the dots. You wrote together, old memories came back and then old habits took over. But what I do want you to tell me is why? Why did you throw everything between us away for her? After everything she has done to you."

"Rayna Jaymes is my life and has been since the moment I laid eyes on her. For eleven years I was the luckiest guy in the world, I got sober for her, and what kept me sober was the hope that one day she would come back to me. I was her friend and rejoined her band after she married Teddy because living a life without her was excruciatingly painful. Our lives are so intertwined and connected professionally and personally. I mean hell we have a daughter together. She's everything. And now I have a chance to be the man she always said I could be."

I felt like I stuck a knife into Megan's heart and twisted it causing her even more pain.

"Deacon, you spent years waiting to have a life, while she went on and had her own and you watched with envy from the side. She dragged you along all those years giving you crumbs and never allowing you to be anything on your own. She destroyed every good part of you and you let her. But you finally found a way to be happy and take a chance on being more than someone else's guitarist."

She goes into the living room and grabs all of her papers puts them into her brief case and heads for the front door.

"You deserve more than Rayna Jaymes."

Megan left me standing in the kitchen thinking about everything she said. She was just like everyone else. Everyone thinks that Rayna and I are toxic to each other and are each others addictions but they are all wrong. Rayna is the love of my life, she is everything. Our history and our mistakes are a part of us and I can't erase the things I have done to her but I am not that man anymore. I've changed and I can give her what she deserves, and I can give her everything she has always wanted. I can be a father to those beautiful girls of hers, and I can be a husband and we can have the life she has dreamed of. I want to give her that life, I want to share that life with her.


	4. Chapter 4: Forever and Always

Hi y'all. Writing the final chapter for this story has been extremely difficult given what happened. I don't want to go into detail if anyone reading hasn't seen episode 9 of season 5 yet. I don't blame you if you are refusing to watch. Truthfully, I wish I hadn't, that episode emotionally scared me. Hopefully this story can provide a little escape from the sad reality of Nashville. It was an honor to write this story and imagine what Deyna would have been like with a little more time. Enjoy!

Forever and Always.

I went upstairs after Luke left. The girls are with Teddy for the weekend so I wasn't in a hurry to get myself together in any way. My phone lit up and I saw Deacon's name. It still shocks me that he figured out the whole texting thing, I never imagined that would happen. I opened the message and it instantly made me smile. It was short but it was exactly what I needed. I text him back saying, I love you Deacon and set my phone back down and headed to the shower. I hoped that a shower would help relieve some of the tension in my neck maybe even help clear my head but it did the exact opposite. It amplified everything. Of course I love him, but it's no longer just the two of us. We are no longer two struggling artists that can do the back and forth drama we use to call our relationship. We have so much we need to talk about and work through but I don't even know where to start. Do we start from the very beginning with all of the pain he put me through? Do we start with what it was like for him for the past fifteen years? Or do we just start with what I see as our biggest problem, me lying to him about his daughter…our daughter? Our argument in the dressing room at the CMA's still haunts me. I couldn't even look at him. This was the moment I had been dreading for so long, and the reality was worse than anything I had ever imagined. His pain as he struggled to get those words out tore through me.

I need you tell me that it's not true. Tell me that you haven't been lying to me every moment of the last thirteen years.

I stepped out of the shower and all of those thoughts and feelings took over my body and the room started spinning, I couldn't see straight and I collapsed on the floor. I laid on the floor of my bathroom and focused on breathing. Once I regained a sense of balance I got up put on some casual clothes and headed to the music room. I needed to write, I needed to work through as much as I could on my own before I tried to talk to Deacon.

The music room is my favorite room in this house. It was the one space in the whole entire house that I could decompress and be myself. I could be Rayna, not the Queen of Country, not a wife, not even a mom… this room was me. I sat on the couch and curled up with my notepad and threw down every thought good and bad that flooded to the surface. I had two songs in no time at all, well I had the lyrics. Writing is my escape, it always has been. It helps me organize myself. The music part of it has always been the Deacon part. He has this way of reading my words and knowing the exact melody I pictured in my head. Other times he takes my words and making them better by adding his own vision to them. Musically we connected on this level I can never find the right words to explain to anyone. It's like we are the same person when we write, it flows and creates this work of art that just takes our breath away every time.

I took my note pad to the piano and tried to work some kind of arrangement out but it just wouldn't connect. By the end of the day my hair was in a bun and there were papers everywhere. I had no idea I had spent the entire day at the piano. I hadn't done that in years. I felt exhausted, physically and emotionally. I left everything where it was and went up to my bedroom. My body sunk into my bed and I curled into a ball under the covers pulling the comforter tight under my chin passing out almost instantly.

I woke up later than I had planned the next morning. I wanted to have somewhat of a productive day before the girls came home but I still felt worn out. My body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. I needed coffee. I walk down the stairs and start the coffee maker. I pour myself a cup and walk back upstairs. Half way up my ridiculously long staircase I hear my phone ringing. I run the rest of the way hoping I don't spill the coffee on me or worse the carpet! I slide to answer without looking at the name.

"Hello?"

"Ray, you ok?"

"Yeah! Just a little winded. I ran up the stairs to answer." I let out a deep breath.

He chuckles at me.

"Are you just waking up? Its 10:30!"

"Is it really?" I look over my shoulder to the clock. Oh my god he was right.

"I had no idea I slept that long."

"What's got you so tired?"

"Honestly babe I have no idea. All I did yesterday was write. Hopefully this coffee helps."

"Care to share?"

"My coffee? No way! I need all I can get my hands on!"

He laughs at me. God I've missed that laugh.

"I wouldn't dream of coming between you and your coffee Ray. I meant the songs."

"Our spot, in an hour?"

"It's a date."

I smile and hang up.

I head over to my vanity look in the mirror and realize suggesting an hour was very naïve of me. I rushed to get ready. I went casual wearing skinny jeans with my boots and a white v neck with a black leather jacket. I grabbed my notepad and headed to the car looking at the time, it read noon, shit I'm late. I text him saying I was running late. I finally pulled up to the park and he was sitting at our spot with his guitar. It's amazing that after all of these years, he still takes my breath away. I sit in my car just admiring him. Watching him play the guitar makes every hair on my body stand up and radiate heat all over. He turns my direction and shoots me that side grin that punches me in the stomach. I smile back, grab my stuff, and get out. He walks over to meet me and helps me down from the wall. He grabs my notepad and purse setting them on the ground. He then grabs my hands supporting me as I jump down. I let out a grunt as I land and flip my hair out of my face.

"I don't make that look as sexy as you do." I chuckle.

He looks at me and moves a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"Looked pretty damn sexy to me."

We walk over to our spot and sit down.

"Sorry I'm so late."

"Ray, I know you well enough to know an hour never means an hour."

I shove his shoulder playfully.

"Hey! I'm not as bad as I use to be."

He smiles.

"You're right. But it doesn't matter, I'm a patient man."

"So I wrote these two songs yesterday, I tried to put them to music on the piano and I mean its not bad. I think they need a little work."

We are now both sitting on top of the picnic table, close but not touching. I have my notepad open in my lap and he reaches for it while saying, "Let me take a look."

I pull my arm back forcing him to lean into my body. He looks me in the eye with a really expression. I lean into him and gently kiss him. I set my papers down on the table and run my fingers through his hair pulling him as close to me as I can. Our kiss is long and tender until I pull away. I turn to grab my lyrics, as I turn my head back around there he is, exactly where I left him. He slowly opens his eyes grabs the paper out of my hands and says, "You shouldn't start something you aren't prepared to finish." I throw my head back laughing. He looks down reading what I've written avoiding looking my direction. It warms my heart to know that a simple kiss has the same effect on him. He focuses in on the words I've written. I try to read what he is thinking but he keeps a straight face until the end.

"This is… he lets out a little sigh…this is brutally honest and raw. You haven't written anything like this in years."

"That's not entirely true." He looks up at me confused.

"I have a box full of songs I haven't shared with you. Songs that I couldn't share with you." I could tell what I said hurt him. I didn't mean for that to come off the way it did but it was true. Lying all those years, wishing things had turned out differently, I had to channel those emotions into something or they would have destroyed me. Writing has always been a huge part of me but after I found out I was pregnant with Maddie I wrote everything down. I have boxes and boxes of journals that document every part of my life for the last decade and half.

"But I would like to one day."

He looked at me and it felt like someone took my heart out of my body and I was sitting next to this beautiful man lifeless. I know I hurt him, but for the first time we were alone and I could see how deep the pain I caused was.

"Grab your purse."

I grab my bag he takes my hand and I follow him to his truck. He walks me to my door and puts me in without saying anything else. He gets into the driver's seat and we leave. I sit quietly staring out my window. I want to ask where he is taking us but decide against it, we sit in silence. He reaches over and takes my hand but doesn't look my direction. On a normal day I can read Deacon Claybourne like a book but in this moment I have no idea what he is thinking or feeling. I'm lost deep in my own head of thoughts to notice the direction we are headed until we pass a familiar sign and I know exactly where we are going. I just don't know why. I had a feeling I would not be coming home tonight so I pulled my phone out of my purse and sent Teddy a text message asking him to keep the girls tonight. Also messaging Bucky asking him to send someone to pick up my car.

We pull into the gravel road and the cabin is just as beautiful as the first time he brought me here. I turn to grab the door handle but before I can open it he says, "I got it" and I stop. I wait for him to come over to my side and open it for me. He grabs my hand and we walk to the front door. He hasn't changed anything. Everything is exactly how I left it. The familiarity takes my breath away and causes my body to tense. He positions himself in front of me grabbing both of my hands and says,

"Rayna Jaymes, I bought this house so that we could spend the rest of our lives together. I had this vision of giving you everything you always wanted. Starting with making you Mrs. Claybourne and loving you more than I ever imagined possible. Followed by kids, raising them here, teaching them music, and watching as they grew into remarkable human beings. Once they left us I pictured us growing old and watching the sun rise on our porch, you with your coffee, feeling grateful for the good life we created. I bought this place with the hope of giving you the future you deserved, and I'm sorry I couldn't give you those things. I brought you here because I want this next chapter of our life to be a version of the original plan. I want to move on from the pain and hurt we put each other through. I want to embrace the new future we can have and spend the rest of our days here. I want to marry you, and fall in love with you a little more each morning we watch that sunrise over the lake. I want to raise our two beautiful daughters together."

Tears are running down my face as I listen to every word he says. But when he said, "our two beautiful daughters" I lose it. He wipes my face, pushes my hair behind my ears and I kiss him passionately. He manages to get the door open and leads us to our bedroom throwing me onto the bed. His hands are delicately undressing me and he whispered repeatedly how much he loves me. My body begins to respond before my head could process what was going on. I pulled him in close, wrapping my arms around his neck… I could feel his erection pressed up against my thigh. I reached down unzipping his jeans and pushing them down. He breaks our kiss to release himself. Then he lays back on top of me nose to nose and placing his lips on mine, our kiss felt like a magnet as we become one again. He slowly works his way down trailing kisses from my neck to my boob down my abdomen and finally to my center. I watch him push my thighs apart granting him full access. His tongue gently licks all around my core. I grab his hair with my hands holding on for dear life causing a deep moan to escape his chest. He teases me for some time with unleashing a combination of sucking and licking. My breath begins to catch and I beg him not to stop. I feel lightheaded and completely filled with this unbearable desire. I feel my insides tingle when his tongue finally finds my clit. My back immediately arches and I grab tightly onto the bed followed by a loud cry echoing throughout the room. God I missed this.

Still falling from my first orgasm, Deacon slowly turns me onto my stomach. My legs instantly part welcoming him. He trails slow kisses up my back and to my shoulder blades. He links his fingers with mine tightly before entering me from behind. He forms his own rhythm. The sheets become my safe haven as we make love to stifle my moans. He places his arm under my stomach bringing my backside further towards him. He takes a final plunge entering me deeper. It feels amazing…divine. I come again shivering underneath him. Deacon follows emptying himself into me. He stills holding me close and leans down so that we are ear to ear. We link fingers once more not wanting to break any type of contact.

"I will love you Ray forever and always."


End file.
